ned.freed@mrochek.com
Tue, 16 Oct 2001 08:17:36 -0700 (PDT)
As usual, these are mostly editorial clarifications.
The abstract needs to be much more specific. In particular, it needs to say
exactly what requirements this document imposes on addresses associated
with VPIM systems. Without this you have to spend a lot of time reading
this document to figure out what it actually requires. I suggest adding
a sentence like the following:
Requirements are imposed on the formats of addresses used
in VPIM submission mode.
In section 2 it might be nice to add a definition of "LHS".
In the abstract, change "email addresses" to "email address formats"
In the introduction, the capitalized words "RECOMMEND" and "RECOMMENDS"
are not keywords, nor is it necessary to use keywords to talk about what
another document does, especially when dealing with the weakest
possible sort of requirement. These words should therefore be
changed to lower case.
In the introduction, change "to use a" -> "the use of a"
Section 5.1.4 should read "FAX addresses used in VPIM are formatted as defined
in [FAX-ADDR], section 2."
Section 5.2 refers to RFC 2303. Shouldn't this be a reference to [GSTN-ADDR]?
Section 5.2.4 same change as 5.1.4.
Ned
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